Deadly PJs.... All New Ones....
Commit suicide at your own risk...
Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
Scroll down for the ultimate PJ
Further,,,
Little further...
ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
________________________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta
Hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai,bahut ghumak phira
Ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata
Hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki
Bijli nahi hoti hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai. Kaise???
Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch
Saaf saaf dikhta hai.
______________________________________________________________________
Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.
Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.
Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.
Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.
Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se jyada intellegent
Hai.
Kyon?
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Kyon?
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Socho.
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Nahi pata?
..
..
Kyonki
Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks milate hai.
______________________________________________________________________
Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI
________________________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
Shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
Bole ...
..
..
..
..
..
Puttar maang ...
Maang kya chahiye tujhey !
Bakth utha ...
Bole shivji ...
Mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
Unhone kaha ... puttar ...
Tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
Kuch bada maang !
..
..
..
..
Wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
Shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !
Par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
Shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar
TU
Kuch aur maang .. guitar
Na maang ...
Wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab
Shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)
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Saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata
________________________________________________________________________
And this is the latest one.... shayad padaa ho pehle but phir bhi
Enjoy....................
1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution
=
Heart Attack
Matlab
Scrolll down
DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
________________________________________________________________________
Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???
Think......
Think..
Bit more.......
Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
Chen..nai...
________________________________________________________________________
What's the opposite of "Dominoes"
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
tired of thinking???
Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"
________________________________________________________________________
Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
....
.....
......
okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"
________________________________________________________________________
Acha last one...............
Ok whats the opp of venky's..
venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)
________________________________________________________________________
What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.
How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO
________________________________________________________________________
Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when
He was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.
________________________________________________________________________
What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass.
________________________________________________________________________
Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'
________________________________________________________________________
What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro
STATES ma gayon?"
His son failed in statistics.
________________________________________________________________________
Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.
________________________________________________________________________
A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
Bath, but he hasn 't got a soap and there is no water anywhere around
....
What can he do?
->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of
Integration) Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c '.
________________________________________________________________________
One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile
His call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on
Talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.
What MORAL do u get???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
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..
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...
An IDEA can change your wife.
________________________________________________________________________
________
Ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......
To unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee do cheenti to
Usmein se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu
............
kyunki
kyunki
Use diabetes thee
________________________________________________________________________
________
A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
Guess why ?
because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"
________________________________________________________________________
________
whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping
from 10th floor?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)
________________________________________________________________________
________
Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?
Think......
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
socho socho
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
> Juhi , Rekha , sushma and jaya are 4 friends.
>
>
>
> They all got marriage proposal from Shah Rukh, Salman, Aamir nad Saif.
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> But none of them is ready to accept any of the proposal.
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> Can u tell me y?
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> Nahin malum.
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> Kyunki....Juhi, rekha ,jaya aur sushma...
>
> Sabki pasand NIRMAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Commit suicide at your own risk...
Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
Scroll down for the ultimate PJ
Further,,,
Little further...
ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
________________________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta
Hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai,bahut ghumak phira
Ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata
Hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki
Bijli nahi hoti hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai. Kaise???
Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch
Saaf saaf dikhta hai.
______________________________________________________________________
Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.
Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.
Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.
Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.
Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se jyada intellegent
Hai.
Kyon?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Kyon?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Socho.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Nahi pata?
..
..
Kyonki
Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks milate hai.
______________________________________________________________________
Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI
________________________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
Shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
Bole ...
..
..
..
..
..
Puttar maang ...
Maang kya chahiye tujhey !
Bakth utha ...
Bole shivji ...
Mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
Unhone kaha ... puttar ...
Tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
Kuch bada maang !
..
..
..
..
Wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
Shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !
Par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
Shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar
TU
Kuch aur maang .. guitar
Na maang ...
Wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab
Shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata
________________________________________________________________________
And this is the latest one.... shayad padaa ho pehle but phir bhi
Enjoy....................
1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution
=
Heart Attack
Matlab
Scrolll down
DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
________________________________________________________________________
Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???
Think......
Think..
Bit more.......
Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
Chen..nai...
________________________________________________________________________
What's the opposite of "Dominoes"
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
Think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
tired of thinking???
Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"
________________________________________________________________________
Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
....
.....
......
okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"
________________________________________________________________________
Acha last one...............
Ok whats the opp of venky's..
venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)
________________________________________________________________________
What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.
How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO
________________________________________________________________________
Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when
He was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.
________________________________________________________________________
What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass.
________________________________________________________________________
Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'
________________________________________________________________________
What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro
STATES ma gayon?"
His son failed in statistics.
________________________________________________________________________
Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.
________________________________________________________________________
A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
Bath, but he hasn 't got a soap and there is no water anywhere around
....
What can he do?
->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of
Integration) Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c '.
________________________________________________________________________
One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile
His call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on
Talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.
What MORAL do u get???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
An IDEA can change your wife.
________________________________________________________________________
________
Ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......
To unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee do cheenti to
Usmein se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu
............
kyunki
kyunki
Use diabetes thee
________________________________________________________________________
________
A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
Guess why ?
because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"
________________________________________________________________________
________
whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping
from 10th floor?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)
________________________________________________________________________
________
Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?
Think......
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
socho socho
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
> Juhi , Rekha , sushma and jaya are 4 friends.
>
>
>
> They all got marriage proposal from Shah Rukh, Salman, Aamir nad Saif.
>
>
>
> But none of them is ready to accept any of the proposal.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Can u tell me y?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .
>
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> Nahin malum.
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> Kyunki....Juhi, rekha ,jaya aur sushma...
>
> Sabki pasand NIRMAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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